


What Dreams Are Made Of

by Tasbine



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-08-04
Updated: 2012-08-04
Packaged: 2017-11-11 09:53:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/477263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tasbine/pseuds/Tasbine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>TG: dont you ever see some real swole guy<br/>TG: and think<br/>TG: man what would it be like to have him just<br/>TG: throw you down on a bed and plow into you</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Dreams Are Made Of

It appears you’ve decided to take a spontaneous nap, from which you have just woken up. Obnoxious sounds are keeping you from your precious sleep. As you begin to regain your consciousness, you remember being in the middle of a conversation with your buddy before it hit a spectacular lull, and you thought then would be a good time to rest your eyes a bit. In a moment of panic you quickly reach for your face and check if your glasses are still intact. The computer repeats the sound again.

You are John Egbert and Dave Strider has been pestering you for the last minute. About what, you’re not sure yet as you haven’t got back on your computer yet. Indeed, you are still lying on your bed and you can’t reach your computer from there. You rise and amble over to where the persistent bloops are emitting from. You are going to see what’s up. And, hopefully, you are going to shut HIM up. 

** TG: dont you ever see some real swole guy  
TG: and think  
TG: man what would it be like to have him just  
TG: throw you down on a bed and plow into you **

You can’t say you have. 

You blink and wonder blearily if you are still asleep. Maybe there was more to what he had to say, but, frankly, you are too scared to scroll any further up.

You decide to give him a quick, succinct reply in order to properly convey all that his aimless rambling has inspired in you. 

**EG: …**

A long pause follows. 

**TG: hypothetically  
TG: ironically  
TG: ironically hypothetically**   
EG: what.  
**TG: what???**

You need to think long and hard before you make your next move. When you finally come up with something to say, you begin typing your respon- 

** \-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist  [EB] \-- **

Well. 

He certainly chickened out of this one. You feel a pout coming on. And, if you think about what he has just confided to you long enough, possibly a headache too. 

 

You have never thought about having sex with a guy but your best bro has. 

Maybe. 

Maybe it was just a joke and seemingly running away embarrassed was just an abstract punchline only Dave would get. 

Maybe it was some kind of weird mind-game slash prank, all just to get you to think about guys in ways you never really thought about before.

If that’s the case, it’s not working, Dave! You have yet to visualize any guy naked and you’re not about to start now. You’re not even going to look at any guys at all for the next few days, you can be sure of that!

But it is certainly making you think about your best friend differently, in ways it probably shouldn’t. 

You’re not exactly comfortable with that. 

 

EB: rose!! have you ever seen a guy who you wanted to throw you down on a bed and plow into you?  
TT: …Interesting.  
TT: Do you care to tell me what brought about this line of inquiry?  
EB: wait. no.  
EB: this has nothing to do with me!!  
EB: i’m asking you a question about you.  
TT: This isn’t exactly how I planned to tell you.  
TT: But no. I have never thought about men in that manner.  
EB: …  
EB: oh.

Oh. 

You now realize what a stupid question that was to ask her. 

In any case, that kind of clears up some suspicions you have had about her in the past, you guess.

This is hardly shocking news. You can take this. At least, you hope so. 

EB: that’s fine! i mean, that doesn’t change anything. just to let you know, i don’t think of you any differently because of that!

You wince. Things are getting awkward fast and she hasn’t even said much yet.

You have to think of something quick if you are to salvage this conversation.

EB: i am so proud of you.

You wince again. 

** TT: John. I’m getting the feeling that something’s not quite right. Is something upsetting you?  
EB: you’re gay!  
EB: wait. no.  
EB: that’s not upsetting me at all! it’s great that you’re gay.  
EB: i’m so, so proud of you, rose. **

You’re not making much sense. 

** TT: You are becoming incoherent, John. Really, are you alright? **

Even inside your own head, everything has become jumbled. 

** EB: it is okay to be gay.  
TT: John.  
TT: Please. This is making me very uncomfortable. **

At that, you don’t wince, but you can feel your heart doing a little jumping motion as if it were wincing for you. 

** TT: Why are suddenly so interested in whom I am attracted to anyway?  
TT: You never seemed to care about those things before.  
TT: What happened?  
EB: nothing.  
EB: nothing that should matter anyway.  
EB: it’s not like it should change anything.  
TT: Clearly, it does.   
EB: i’m sorry.  
TT: I’ve got to go, John. Maybe we can discuss this later. **

She signs off. 

** EB: :( **

 

**EB: dave.  
EB: it’s been several days now.  
EB: it’s okay, dude! you can talk to me again.  
EB: i promise i won’t bite hehehe.  
EB: dave.  
EB: …  
EB: come on, man.  
EB: have you talked to rose lately?  
EB: rose’s not talking to me either.  
TG: she isnt  
EB: dave!!  
TG: hey  
EB: oh my god, way to drag things out dude!!  
EB: what even is your deal?   
TG: hold up  
TG: you said rose wasnt talking to you  
TG: what did you do??  
EB: oh. yeah.  
EB: i guess i said something wrong, like i really offended her?  
TG: what did you say  
EB: uh  
EB: i don’t think she would want me talking about it.  
TG: christ  
TG: what did you say  
EB: no. i don’t think i’m going to tell you.  
EB: that would be for the best. **

Apparently Rose didn’t say anything about it to him, seeing as what you said got him concern for her. He doesn’t let the subject go easily. You end up having to pry it from his steel trap by being extra crafty. Even though you know he is just going to bug her for the details later on. 

EB: so how about that superbowl! dad had me watch it with him last night. it was pretty neat, huh?  
TG: what

You change tactics. 

For the next thirty minutes you assault him with a deluge of questions and comments about anything he has ever shown an interest in. Or anything you think he might be interested in. It is a rapid fire blitz of distraction.

By the end, the two of you fall back into the comfortable rapport you are so familiar with. Boy, you sure did miss this. 

Eventually, the two of you start talking about having him come visit you during the summer. You are more excited by the prospect than you care to admit.

 

****

** GG: ummmm  
GG: maybe you should buy him a present? 8D  
EB: okay, that sounds cool.  
EB: uh.  
EB: but why?  
GG: because hes coming to visit you for the first time in forever!  
GG: isnt that just the polite thing to do?  
EB: i guess?  
EB: i don’t know, jade.  
EB: seems like a kind of trivial thing to buy someone a present for.  
GG: oh  
GG: i wouldnt know dummy  
GG: not many people come to visit me you know. :(  
EB: but you live out in the middle of the ocean!  
GG: i know :(  
EB: i’m totally going to visit you someday though.  
EB: just you wait! but, man, logistics.  
GG: hehehe  
GG: i am waiting duuuuh  
EB: well, soooooorry.  
EB: just wait a little longer!  
GG: psssst!  
GG: btw you still should totally buy dave a present  
EB: man  
EB: you know how many presents i’ve bought dave through the years?  
EB: i don’t think i could come up with anything that would surprise him anymore.   
GG: well maybe it doesnt have to be a surprise.  
EB: no, it definitely has to be a surprise.  
GG: :(  
GG: then youre just going to have to think harder!   
EB: nope. i’m all out of ideas.  
EB: i swear.  
GG: ugggh  
GG: surely there is something! **

 

You are going to buy Dave a present. If you can’t think of anything you want to give him for real, maybe you will just give him something as a gag, like you have so many times before. Gags are, after all, what you are all about. 

 

You reach into every little crevasse of your mind for any and all information you have stored away about Dave. You comb through all of your past pesterlogs. Finally, you alight on something that at last tickles you hysterical.

You consider your next move very carefully.

You buy a dildo.

 

The night before the day Dave is set to arrive you fall asleep thinking, “This is going to be so hilarious.”

**Author's Note:**

> I am not a particularly good writer in my own eyes - I'm not going to speak for anyone else - so I am always looking for ways to improve my writing. Just to let everyone know, I am very open to constructive criticism!


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